Many times, while reading my bible, I’ll have an “Aha” moment. It’s during those times I receive revelation about something that God is trying to tell me.
Not long ago while reading the book of Psalms, I came across a couple verses that nearly took my breath away.
I’m referring to Psalm 37: 32 – 33 which states in the Amplified version of the bible:
33 The Lord will not leave them in their hands, or [suffer them to] condemn them when they are judged.
The first verse refers to the enemy of our soul, Satan, and how he basically seeks our lives. The thing about the enemy is he loves no one. The bible states Satan seeks to steal, kill, and destroy us from the day we are born (John 10:10).
In reality, Satan seeks our lives the moment we are planted as a seed in our mother’s womb. God created the womb to be the safest place for a baby, but Satan has devised a plan to take babies lives, even while in the womb.
But the second verse is what really struck a chord with me. In laymen terms, the verse speaks of how God won’t leave you in the enemy’s hand.
When I read that verse, I immediately grabbed my pen and began to write a poem about how God didn’t leave me nor forsaken me.
The Forsaken State
While writing, I thought of all the people in my life who had forsaken me. Although, the physical act of a person leaving is painful, my poem evolved around the actual state or condition in which the person had left me.
By state, I mean the mental state, the emotional state, the physical state, and the heart state.
I thought about the time when I was 12 years old and a man chased me and tried to kidnap me. The almost-kidnapper left me in a state of fear and in a state of not trusting people.
I thought about how at the age of 16, I found out the dad I had known for 16 years was not my birth father. My mom, my supposed-to-be-dad, and my birth father all left me in a state of confusion and disappointment.
I thought about my first boyfriend who began physically abusing me at the age of 17 and for two years after. My abuser left me in a state of physical pain, rejection, and fear.
I thought about how my ex-husband left a note on the steering wheel of my car to let me know he was leaving me (and our 3 children) because he was in love with another woman. My ex left me in a state of anger, loneliness, and rejection.
For years, I was broken, torn, confused, and I was an emotional mess. According to verse 32 above, I was right where the enemy of my soul wanted me. I was vulnerable, weak, and afraid. And if I wasn’t so afraid of dying back then, he probably could’ve convinced me that life was not worth living.
Today, there are tons of medications to help people deal with their fragmented, episodic lives, like my own. However, I didn’t take medications, I didn’t go to a therapist, and I didn’t take the easy way out and try to take my life.
Instead, I went through life bleeding.
When my children were younger and they scraped their legs or cut their fingers, the first thing I did was put a band-aid on it.
Coincidentally, I tried to bandage my life in the same manner. Yet, my wounds continued to bleed out loudly time and time again: “I have trust issues”. “I have identity issues”. “I have anger issues”. “I have shame issues”. “I have authority issues”. “I have issues!”.
I became the woman with the issue of blood.
The enemy used many others to leave me wounded and I continued to bleed and bleed until finally…I needed a blood transfusion.
For a blood transfusion to work, the doctor searches for a donor who’s blood type is the perfect match as the patient’s blood type. I needed someone who had the same DNA as mine…a perfect match.
There is a Man who, over 2000 years ago, was beaten and tortured until He bled. He was left in a state of humiliation, a state of rejection, a state of torment. He was forsaken.
That Man carried an old rugged cross on His back up to a place called Calvary. His tormenters nailed him to that cross and left him hanging there, naked, humiliated, and exposed; bleeding in front of everyone there.
While on the cross, He shed His blood for me because He knew that one day, I would need a blood transfusion.
He knew that unlike the others who had left me and had forsaken me, the Lord would not leave me in the enemy’s hands, as stated in verse 33 of Psalm 37.
When ever one goes to the doctor, the first thing the doctor does is remove the band-aid or bandages to expose the wound and diagnose how to heal it.
In the same manner, the Great Physician removed my bandages and exposed my wounds to allow the healing process to begin. He was my doctor and provided the donor as well. I have his DNA coursing through my veins and therefore His Son is a perfect match for the transfusion.
He said I’ll take your pain, I’ll take your shame, I’ll take your rejection, I’ll take your fear. In exchange I’ll give you life. Life in abundance, to the fullest, til it overflows (John 10:10).
So He shed His blood and died on the cross for me. Then He rose again, that I may be free. Where others left me bleeding, He came to cover me. To heal me. To love me.
Jesus is His name, the precious name above all names. He is the Man who pumped His blood into my veins and has made my life worth living again.
There’s not enough room on this page to tell you how grateful I am to Jesus for saving my life and gifting me with a new life. A life filled with joy, laughter, and full of surprises by my Daddy, God.
He is so awesome and amazing! I am enjoying doing life with Him. I trust Him to take good care of me and that’s exactly what He does. I trust His love, because His love has never and will never fail me.
I can trust Him with my heart.
I leave you with this…If you’ve never trusted Jesus with your heart, take a chance on Him. I promise that He won’t disappoint you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 says: Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will never leave you, nor forsake you.
Father, You know all of our hurts and all of our pains. You even know the secrets that keep us bondage to emotional pain. You never promised that life would not have its troubles. But, you did promise that you would never leave us, nor forsake us and that you will be with us even to the ends of the earth. You said we can lay our burdens down and take your yoke upon us because your yoke is easy and your burden is light. Lord I pray for every individual that is reading this prayer. I pray that they will trust you with their hearts, with their lives, and with their secret pains. You are the Great I Am. You are to them whatever they need you to be…love, healing, hope, and peace. In Jesus Mighty Name. Amen!
May His Love Overwhelm You,